Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Reflection: Romans 7:15; or, What I Really Want To Do...

So anytime there is major upheaval in life means that you have the chance to totally change your daily routine. Sometimes this is a good thing--you can stop some bad habits and start some good ones. Sometimes it is a bad thing--changes in the amount of time you spend doing things you like decreases and you have to spend more time doing things you don't like.

Thankfully for me the recent move to Murfreesboro has meant a lot of positive changes to my routine. In fact, I'm still in that new phase of trying to figure out what I want this routine to look like. There are some things that Must Be--like I Must Leave The House At Least 20 Minutes Before Work. (Which honestly is a lot better than the Hour And 20 Minutes it used to be...) But there are other things like leisure time that I get to have a say in. If my cat had his way, I would do nothing but sit on the sofa and pet him until it was time to move the cuddlefest to my bed for the night. But Jasper does not always get his way, much to his discomfort.

How do I want to spend my mornings? How am I actually spending my mornings? What do I do when I clock out at work?

Well, I --want-- to spend my mornings on an hour long morning run/workout of some kind, then come home and either get ready for work or do some housework. (Let's face it, Housework is one of those Things That Must Be) I want to spend at least 20 minutes with a cup of coffee and the Pray As You Go Podcast (or some other devotional podcast/reading/meditation time). And eat something besides dry cereal in the car on the way to work. (BACON. mostly Bacon.)

What I actually do is sleep until 7:30 or 8, have a cup of coffee and fiddle around on the computer (and, yes, pet Jasper) until I realize it's 8:45 and I am going to have to rush to get ready for work. (this sleeping late thing works out better when I work a closing shift and don't have to be there til noon...)

When I clock out at work I usually come home, talk to the cat while I change out of my work clothes, eat something, mess around on the computer, and then oh jeez suddenly it's 10 or 11 and if I want to get up early and spend my morning the way I want to then I should have been in bed two hours ago.

Paul says it best: "I do not understand what I do. I want to do what is right but I don't do it, instead I do what I hate to do." (Romans 7:15)

Sigh. I don't really understand it either, Paul. I know how I want to live my life but we all know that knowing and doing are two very different things. Each day is a new day. That's what I keep telling myself.. no sense in beating myself up about it. Each day I get a new chance to do things the right way. Each moment, really. But it's kind of easier to start when everything else is getting started up in the morning...

It's 8:30 so I'm going to go get my laundry started... and get my running shoes out of whatever box they're still sitting in... and maybe Jasper will be okay with some head scratches after I do those dishes...

Grace & Peace,

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